Here's What Is Going On...

I went to the dr last night to get the results from my HSG and a follie check. I had a 22mm (w/o meds!) on my left side, and peak fertility the last 2 days. We BD'd Sat, Mon, Tues, Wed, and Fri so I think we've got our bases covered there. I hope so anyway, because this is our last try without IUI unless we take a break from treatment. How do I know this? The HSG results.
I thought everything was fine, but I was wrong. My left tube is clear, beautiful he said. My right tube is blocked, and by the way the contrast pooled, they think I might have a hydrosalpinx. I had heard of this, but never researched it. I was told it is caused by a prior infection somewhere in your body. The tube gets fluid built up in it and it blocks the tube and causes scar tissue. Sometimes the fluid can leak back into your uterus creating a toxic environment for an embryo, problems with implantation, and an increased miscarriage rate (and I can't go through that again). Our options are MRI, laprascopy, and/or injectibles with IUI. We are doing the MRI 3/20 @ 6:45pm, and that pretty much wipes out everything I saved for the IUIs. I am so upset right now.
We can't do Clomid because it wastes our time if the follies grow on the right ovary. He wants to do the injs so we get follies on both ovaries and stimulate enough so that we have a chance at some eggs from the left releasing and getting fertilized. He hopes to see 4-5 eggs and that many embryos so that MAYBE one will be able to implant. If we do the lap and it IS this hydrosalphinx thing, they have to remove the tube completely and that should help with implanting. I just can't believe this... It just gets better and better. I am glad that I at least have a doctor that understands where I'm coming from and takes the time to explain everything and cares about me... I just don't know what to do at this point!
Neal confirmed what I figured he would say last night: no more treatment until we can pay for it all at once. So who know how long that will take. I just wish that this were easier. I keep trying to tell myself that I must really be doing something right for Satan to fight me so much, but I'm not sure I really believe it yet... So for the next two weeks, I need prayers that the MRI goes well and that we get pregnant this cycle. I have at least 2 weeks before we can find out. I pray that the MRI shows that its not the hydro-whatever and just a blockage that we can get fixed. Even better, no blockage at all. I am scared either way this goes; blockage or no blockage, pregnant or not pregnant, IUI or no IUI. I'm just wandering around blind and I have absolutely no clue what to do at this point...
I'll end this uber depressing post with the motto that I am trying to really take to heart and live by through all of this:

~*Everything in life worth having is worth fighting for.*~