Friday, August 7, 2009
I Hurt
Seeing a co-worker with his daughter triggered it. She came and and said "Daddy", in awe. I can't help but think about OUR baby, and if that's how they would have said. I want for Neal to hear that, more than anything I've ever wanted before. I want to see a little head snuggled up next to his and see the love in his eyes, that same love I saw when we first got to see our baby on the ultrasound screen. That was the happiest day of my life... Does the pain get better? I can't function every day like this. Seeing my husband hurt and broken almost kills me. I don't know what to do to help him, or me for that matter. Its not like this every day. I know the birth control is making it worse. I just wish these next few weeks would go by quick so we can do our next treatment cycle... And I wish I weren't so certain it would work... It feels like I'm setting myself up for disappointment, but if you don't have hope why even bother doing anything?
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As hard as it is, yes the pain does ease eventually. Andy showed almost no emotion after our first two miscarriages, but the last one really knocked him down. He was so excited and to see him go through that was worse than my own pain. Just stand firm that God has a promise for you and continue taking your pain to the foot of the cross. (((HUGS))) I am still praying for you. I also sent out an email to my fellow leaders at our church asking for prayer for you. You have some strong women of God lifting you up in prayer. Hang on.
ReplyDelete(((((((((hugs))))))))
ReplyDeleteYes the pain gets better. It never goes away though.